Forgotten Graffiti

The List

I am trying to keep it brief tonight. I've noticed that my posts have gotten consecutively longer. I apologize.

I've discovered that listing the movies that I hate is much easier than choosing which movies are my favorites. But tonight, I'm taking a crack at it.

We'll start with my chosen Worst:

5. Planet of the Apes--Mark Wahlberg, Helena Bonham Carter.
I could never get into the whole Ape craze. I know those old movies are famous, but I was never a huge fan. However, I'd rather sit through 50 hours of the old films than watch the remake once while repeatedly being uppercutted.

4. Armageddon--Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck.
I don't think that Affleck need be mentioned. He definitely has the Midas Touch that turns every film he's been in to poo. The worse part about the film is that in the end, the writers have to decide whether it'll be Willis or Affleck who will die. Guess who they picked? The Unbreakable Willis. Imagine, if we had left Affleck to explode on that asteroid we wouldn't of had to deal with Reindeer Games, Pearl Harbor, or Gigli.

3. Batman & Robin--George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I'm not near the scale of loyalty that Hankins is on, but Batman was my hero as a kid.
This movie had me thinking sinfully violent thoughts about the production team.

2. A History of Violence--Viggo Mortensen, Ed Harris.
The story was horrible, the acting was pathetic (due to the dialogue in my mind), their was absolutely pointless nudity, and the violence was rediculously overdone in an attempt to be "artistic". I really respected Viggo until this watching this film. I stuck it out til the end hoping for redemption--nope, didn't come.

1. Wind Talkers--need I say more? Let's put Nic Cage in a historic film about an indigenous people who sacrificed their lives for our country. The film was a complete mockery of the Navajo. I wanted to throw up. So I did. On the DVD.

Best of the best:

5. Shaun of the Dead--Simon Pegg, Nick Frost.
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at my Tv. This British comedy effortlessly parodies many a zombie scifi. It's so great, words can't describe it.

4. The Shawshank Redemption--Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman.
I believe this film was pretty close to the start of Morgan Freeman's conquering of the world. This film is carried by the acting. Everything about the characters pulls me in. Compared to other prison movies, this film maintains such an accuracy in its shooting. It is very well done.

3. Back to the Future--Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd.
I don't believe the makers of this film had any concept of the brilliance they were creating. It is truly a timeless classic. I remember watching it with my dad, and loving it then as much as I do now. I will watch it with my kids, and they will love it. Period.

2. Batman Begins--Christian Bale, Sir Michael Caine.
Sweet redemption, spelled N-o-l-a-n. I watch this movie at least once a month, and after every viewing, my level of anticipation for the next film in the series increases. At least once every three months, I put on a cape and run around throwing cardboard bats at people.

1. Braveheart--Mel Gibson, Angus Macfadyen.
Believe it or not, I had originally had Batman Begins as number one. I'm still not even sure I've made the right choice, but I know half of you were expecting Braveheart as number one. Got to please the masses, you know. What to say? The story to me is so richly poetic. I've always been passionate about Scotland. In my memory, I have never seen a film that has taken a culture, history, and a story and weaved them together to form such a visually stunning movie. It's just beautiful. Plus, come on. William Wallace. Come on. The dude is a beast. Come on.

Well, that wraps it up. Close runner-ups in both categories were: The Matrix II (worst), and Black Hawk Down and Serenity (best). Hope you've enjoyed the lists!

I'll leave you with a Ben Afflect moment:
"I really don't think that the animal cracker qualifies as a cracker. Well, cause it's sweet, which to me suggests cookie. I mean, well, putting cheese on something is sort of a defining characteristic of what makes a cracker a cracker."

posted by Seth @ 10:49 PM