Forgotten Graffiti

Weekly News Update: August 1-8

Well, Mike is totally showing me up on updating..man...I need to step it up. Stick it to the man. Here's what's making news.


The Fish That Got Away...with his life.
Berlin, Germany-A German man fishing off the shore of Lake Kleinen Pohlitzer near Eisenhuettenstadt (bless you) lost more than his lure early this week. Eye witnesses say the 46-year-old lost his fishing pole while reeling in his catch. The pole was dragged about 110 yards out by the fish. Irritated, the man entered the lake and swam out to his fishing rod. Witnesses then noticed that the man quit moving at this point. One witness swam out and dragged the fisherman back to shore, where he was later pronounced dead. Explaination indicated the man suffered from a heartattack while swimming after the fishing rod. I think it's a cover up for some mutant science experiment gone horribly wrong, and now Lake Kleinihawkalugee is inhabited by some creature who feeds on unsuspecting fisherman.

Watch yer tongue, matey..or you'll walk the plank...er..planks...very small ones...
Amsterdam, Netherlands-a former hollywood stunt man is setting the sailes on his new homemade Viking Ship replica, constructed totally from ice cream sticks. Wow. The thing is full size! Forty-five feet long from stern to bow, the ship is held together by more than one ton of glue. He estimated that he used 15 million ice cream sticks in all, most donated by a local icecream shop owner, but many were scavanged by neighborhood children. Again, wow.
Although he calculated the boat's ability to float, he had prepared an alternate press release incase the replica sank. It was probably something like "well, we had fun building it...Thanks to Mr. Sprinkles at Sprinkles Ice Cream for the $15,000 dollars worth of wood that we just put at the bottom of the ocean. And to the kids who's hopes and dreams I just sank with that boat." Lucky for him it floats, I say.

I'm sure they won't mind...I mean, we have Badges! Come on...
Richmond, California-a burglary incident that took place in a local mall in Richmond led local policemen on a several hour search for the intruders. A security camera captured six police officers helping themselves to a beverage despenser in the back of a cookie shop. Noone at the Sherriff's Office, including the Police Chief, have commented on the situation. Their attorney, however, is insisting that they were dehydrated. All six of them? Strange. Ok, Ok..I'm sure they were thirsty, but come on...that's still theft, right? What would they have done if they had caught the burglars they were looking for helping themselves to some icy Dr. Peppers? They would've slapped cuff's on them and added theft charges to their records. But hey, they have badges...

And lastly, this week's Consumer Recall Report
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission announces the following recall in voluntary cooperation with the firm below.

Name of Product: Ritchey WCS - Protocol, Carbon, DS, DS Aero, Girder models (all rear wheels only)
Units: About 2,000
Manufacturer: Ritchey Design, of San Carlos, Calif.
Hazard: The hub in the bicycle's rear wheel can fail to engage properly, causing no resistance when pedaling. The bicycle rider can lose balance, fall and suffer injuries.

Incidents/Injuries: Ritchey Design has received one report of a bicycle rider who suffered minor bruises and abrasions after experiencing no pedal resistance and falling from the bike.

Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed.

Frankly, I'm a little disappointed with the Incidents/Injuries part..I mean, come on..only one injury? That's all it takes to make them recall 2000 of their products? Oh well, they can't all be winners. We'll keep our eyes upon, though.

That is all.

posted by Seth @ 11:24 AM